I was given two years left to live.

I have Lupus and all my organs were failing. I was on every medicine they could think of — including one not approved yet. Yep, I was a guinea pig (aka research patient) for a new medicine. Thankfully, it ended up being successful (for others, not me) and is now the newest Lupus drug, Benlysta.

Those years are a blur, and I still wonder how I survived at all. It’s been over ten years since I was “supposed” to die. I was stressed at work and at home, with my only happy place being my writing. I wrote and published more books in those years than I have in the last few extremely happy years of my life!

Life is strange.

I may not publish as much now, but I’m healthy, happy, and still alive despite my doctor’s previous grim news.

What Happened?

The stress of a mentally stressful job, the stress of my body hurting and giving up on me, and the stress of a toxic marriage was a deadly concoction in my life.

As Bartok says in the movie, Anastasia, “Stress. It’s a killer.”

Whether we want to admit it or not, stress is a real thing that can cause real problems in our lives.

Stress at Work

I was working full-time as a legal assistant, dealing with all the bureaucratic nonsense that comes with a career with a state department. I worked with judges, sheriffs and state police, members of Congress, psychologists, and juvenile felons. I learned a lot from the Deputy Attorney Generals that I worked for, and even more from the juveniles whose cases came across my desk. But it was still a stressful environment. If you think watching the political news is stressful, try working behind the scenes.

No wonder there are whole bars only open for lawyers!

We spend a giant chunk of our lives at work. I urge you, please don’t stay in a stressful one. Life is too short! If you feel stuck, either find something outside of work to distract you until you find a new job or just make up your mind to go out and design that new career.

It’s no longer a badge of honor to stay at one job your entire life.

New technology has made travel, job functions, keeping in touch with family, and even working from home easier and possible. We have more options than past generations, so we need to appreciate and take advantage of those.

Stress from Within

All my friends and family that have autoimmune diseases — I feel for you! Our “invisible illnesses” are misunderstood and underestimated. We may look fine on the outside — but we may be slowly dying on the inside.

Literally dying.

If I had a dollar for every time I was told “But you don’t look sick,” I’d be rich. I could afford a brand new 2023 Ram truck tomorrow, custom-ordered with double sunroofs.

The stress of having a disease that causes pain, exhaustion, fatigue, immobility, depression, ER visits, and a host of other problems and side effects from treatments only adds to the original sickness.

And adds stress to our daily lives.

Stress at Home

I know I’m not alone in feeling like sometimes our own home feels unsafe. Abuse, whether it is emotional, sexual, psychological, or physical can all be harmful to our holistic health.

Not feeling safe in relationships at home and/or work can be depressing and stressful. When we are running in fear and survival mode, it’s difficult to be happy, healthy, and successful in our lives.

Damage Done

There are many scientific studies about the effects of stress on our bodies and minds. Stress and the harmful damage it can cause have been talked and written about, lectured on, and many a Human Resource class has been created to educate employees.

Yet, we still don’t prioritize reducing stress in our lives.

We ignore physical issues, only going to the doctor once it interrupts our daily life. We put up with stress at work and home, unwilling to change, or just not knowing how to fix it.

Pivot Now!

I don’t have all the answers, but I have lived quite the cautionary tale.

Stress in the form of mental and physical illnesses, major obstacles in life, the lack of motivation, and “stuckness” are signs telling you to make changes in your life.

I hope that others will heed the warnings that their bodies and minds are sending: long-term or sudden illnesses, depression, exhaustion, anxieties, dead-end jobs, goals not met, or just a general lack of motivation or inspiration. Please, pay attention.

And then take action and pivot!

You might need to change jobs, get out of an abusive situation, or hit the road and travel. Prioritize taking inventory of your life and eliminate stress before it breaks down your health and happiness.

I ignored mine for too long. Don’t ignore your stress warnings. You should be thriving in your life; don’t just settle for surviving.

-Heather Lee

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